Why?

So, why am I telling you about all this random stuff I do?

It’s mostly because I keep meeting women my age and older who are miserable.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Bridget Jones’ Diary as much as the next girl and I absolutely adore the book it was based on, Pride and Prejudice, and I don’t think for a minute that the expectations set out by those books/films are the root cause of this misery but there is still a stigma about being a single 30/40something woman.

‘Wouldn’t you like a boyfriend?’ That’s the question I get asked the most frequently.  In an ideal world, of course I would.  But this is not an ideal world.  Men are generally not like Mr Darcy: they are quite often causes of aggravation and, as a great woman once said, ‘Ain’t nobody got time for that!’  I do not dream of a wedding day.  I most certainly do not want any children.  What do I actually need a boyfriend for (without getting crude)?  True, I am a great admirer of the male form at its best – I really really am – but it’s not a big enough deal to lose sleep over, much less sacrifice my lifestyle or dumb down my personality f0r.  This blog is not about encouraging women to not have boyfriends!  It is about not getting on a downer about not having one.

So, we have all these women going around in their 30s and 40s with no husband, no real career and no children.  Many of them, like me, do lots of interesting and fun things.  People sometimes think that we do this to escape the fact that we don’t have a ‘life’ as they define it.  The message I want to put across is that having these little adventures is not an alternative to ‘life’: it is ‘life’.  I want people to feel good about doing things that do not fit into the narrow Trainspotting view of ‘choosing life’.  I want people to be proud of their adventures and to stick it to the lame people who assume that we’re compensating for something.

Don’t compromise yourself to fit in or to please anyone else – that’s the message.  Have adventures, make an arse of yourself and enjoy all the awesome things there are to do out there.

prideprejudice

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One thought on “Why?

  1. You made some really great points here. I think its so easy to feel down about not having children or husband once you reach a certain age because you’re just expected to have all of that. I’m not quite in my thirties but I’ve been single quite awhile and you know what? I don’t feel bad about it. I cheer on the girlies that do and I AM so not in a place in my life for children. I’m okay with that. I haven’t even started my career for goodness sakes! I say if you want to be single be single! No one should have an issue with that. Loving this message! 🙂 Thanks for following my blog on the feature and follow. I’m following by email and G+ Couldn’t find you on Bloglovin’ when I get that sorted out I will follow back that way as well 🙂

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