Frozen

Disney’s computer generated film, Frozen, won two Oscars and grossed over $1.2billion worldwide to become the fifth highest grossing film of all time.

When my friends made me watch one song from it, I made this face:

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And this one:

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The soundtrack may have been number one in the US album chart for weeks and weeks but just one song was enough to give me the fear. I can honestly say I’ve never heard anything like it. But then again, I have and that’s the problem. It looked and sounded so much like something really cheesy and awful off the X Factor that I couldn’t reconcile it with my memory of songs from Disney films.

Remember ‘Bear Necessities’ and ‘King of the Swingers’? Those were Disney songs. They were nothing like the sort of thing you hear in the charts. Catchy, fun and silly are what kids’ songs are supposed to be, not that big performancy over the top ’emotional’ singing.

Fuck me, after about thirty seconds of ‘Let it Go’, I thought my brain was going to cave in. The big gestures, the transformation into the spangly outfit, it was all wrong. And the character herself was so irritating. I’ve never seen a cartoon character look so annoying. Do they do that deliberately? The huge freaky eyes and the non-existent nose – what’s that all about? It’s like once they made A Bug’s Life they couldn’t go back. That girl is proper buggy looking with the oversized eyes and spidery skinny limbs.

Maybe I’m just getting old but I didn’t get it at all. One also has to wonder if the reason kids today are so irritating, especially the younger ones, is because they think that sort of shit is acceptable. All over the world, children are watching that film without seeing anything wrong with it. The world is doomed.

My friends, by the way, were so amused by my reaction to the song that they kicked themselves for not filming it. Bastards.

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